Kim Kardashian in different outfits

Joke of the day:

A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says
"I'll bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument
that this octopus CAN'T play' The people in the bar
look around, and someone fetches out an old guitar.
The octopus has a look,picks it up, tunes the string,
and starts playing the guitar.The octopus' owner
pockets the $50 Next, a guy comes up with a trumpet.
The octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks
it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy
pockets yet another $50. The bar owner has been watching
all of this and disappears to the back. He comes back
a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm.
He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his
octopus, ' Now, if your octopus can play THAT, I'll give
you $100. The octopus takes a long hard look at the
bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has yet another
look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner
comes over and says 'What are you waitin for? Hurry up
and play that damn thing!
The octopus says, 'Play it? Hell if I can work out how
to get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna screw it!!

Pretty blonde big boobs girl in a corset

I think this big boobs girl in a corset looks really pretty and completely unaware she is being photographed...

Joke of the day:

Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He
approached her and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why yes, I do. I 've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on
his wife with three different women, one of whom was your wife. Yes, I
know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."

Nicole Minetti, Silvio Berlusconi friend

It looks like Nicole Minetti was Silvio Berlusconi dental hygienist...

Joke of the day:

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get
it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can

The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your
clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie
down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said.
"Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Sexy girl

Hold tightly to your chair, because there is a big chance that this sexy girl is the very most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life. See for yourself.
Joke of the day:

 A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat... Says He: "I'm sorry honey but I'm up to my neck in work today" Says She: "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." Says He: "OK darling, but since I've got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?" Says She: "Well, the air bag works..."

Veronica Zemanova

Czech model Veronica Zemanova is worth reminding. Have a look at her!
Joke of the day:

 Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving
very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled
the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that

"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads
stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then
there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these
mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o'
those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I
had to go in for a couple of Guiness - couldn't be rude, ye
know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for
later .." And the man fumbled around in his coat until he
located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for

The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you
to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test."

Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!?"

Ines Cudna

Whoa, just look how sexy Ines Cudna looks in her dress!

Joke of the day:

A bus stops and two Italian men get on.  They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation.  The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say
the following:
"Emma come first.  Den I come.  Den two asses come together.  I come
once-a-more.  Two asses, they come together again.  I come again and pee
twice.  Then I come one lasta time.
"You foul-mouthed swine" retorted the lady idignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.  "Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my friend how to spell a 'Mississippi'."

Two blonde girls, one with huge boobs

Wow, i like this photo so much. Especially the blonde girl on the left :)

Joke of the day:

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her
purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Ewa Sonnet

Ewa sonnet is really awesome. Not only she has got very beautfiul and pretty breasts, but has a great figure and very pretty face! Enjoy the video, Ewa is simply walking in a hotel corridor but it is truly a magnificent view.

Joke of the day:

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below
sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he
had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a
few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes
later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he
took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "How the heck
are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had
written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

Beautiful big tits blonde

This beautiful big tits blonde girl is simply extraordinary!

Joke of the day:

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in
the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.

The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for
two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty
years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that
he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.

Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door,
and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.

He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is
a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."

His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes late
the same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong, now?"
the farmer asked.

The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out, but
there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I
can't sleep on holy ground!"

Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and
complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another
knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the
door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

Kim Kardashian

There is a lot going on about Kim Kardashian lately, so i have searched for some pretty photo of her and here it is!

Joke of the day:

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy
with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher
says to the guy with a Chihuahua, 'Let's go over to
that restaurant and get something to eat.'

The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us.'

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'Just follow my lead.'

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman
Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk
in. A guy at the door says, 'Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.'

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'You don't understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog.'

The guy at the door says, 'A Doberman Pinscher?' He says, 'Yes,
they're using them now, they're very good.'

The guy at the door says, 'Come on in.'

The guy with the Chihuahua figures, 'What the hell,' so he puts
on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

The guy at the door says, 'Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.'

The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You don't understand. This is
my seeing-eye dog.'

The guy at the door says, 'A Chihuahua?'

The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?'

Iphone asian girl

This big boobed asian girl with her iphone looks simply fantastic!

Joke of the day:

Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from

Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow."

"Why not?" asks Joey.

"I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully.

"That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are you

Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision."

Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror across
his face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I was
born, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"

Eve Wyrwal

Although really her name is Iga Wyrwal, she is more known under the name of Eve Wyrwal. There are a lot of beautiful girls with big boobs here, but she is my personal favourite one. In fact i would decide instantly to marry her if only it would be possible... But probably i have to stop dreaming and be glad that at least there are such beautiful photos as this one.

Joke of the day:

 The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.

"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."

"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown
and sit a while till the sarge gets back."

"But, officer, I think you really should know..."

"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Tila Tequila

I am not a big fan of Tila Tequila, but i must admit that on this photo she looks very nice!

Joke of the day:

 Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over
by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window
with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the
trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over,
you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean.

He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the
passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls
his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says,"Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're
gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that shit with me!'"

Chloe Vevrier

Yes, it was a little time ago when Chloe Vevrier was active model, but i think she is worth reminding. Enjoy!

Joke of the day:

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the
first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens,
cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the
nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to
amuse him with.

Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the
dogs, and go shooting?" This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with
enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.

After a few hours, the nephew returned.

"How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.

"It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs?"

Recipes queen Nigella Lawson

Joke of the day:

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

Dazzling Christine Hendricks

Joke of the day:
 A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious
to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his
office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone
and spoke into it," I am sorry, but my workload is so tremendous
that I am not going to be able to look into your problem for at
least a month. I shall have to get back to you then." He then turned
to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for
you?" "Nothing," replied the man. "I am here to hook up your phone."

Sensual big tits brunette

Joke of the day:

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they
lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English,
but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose
whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't
know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her
skirt to show her thighs.  The butcher got the message and the lady went
home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know
how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her
breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way
to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...

What were you thinking? Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!

Aubrey O'Day presenting a bikini

Joke of the day:

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when
a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his
butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the
baby was his and asked what was he going to do about
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until
the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar,
and one day the teenager who had been collecting the
meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been
counting too, tell your mother, when you take this
parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat
she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The
woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher
and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk,
and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the
expression on HIS face!"
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