Check out Kelly LeBrock!

Joke of the day: Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" The second guy says, "No." "A bald eagle just flew over head." "Oh." A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No." "There was a black bear walking on that hill over there." "Oh." A few minutes later the second guy says, "Did you see that?" The second guy, getting aggravated, says, "Yes, I did!" The first guy then says, "Then why did you step in it?"

Check this out guys. A mustang ride with a hot girl



I see some cool tattoos on this girl



Joke of the day:

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a
poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.
The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"
The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.
I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick
so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"
The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high
strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I
even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been
happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought
me here to be put to sleep."
The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.
The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday
she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick
up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over
and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I
couldn't help myself. "
The poodle asks: "so she brought you here to put to sleep?"
"Oh, no...., I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."

Awesome Assasin's Creed drawing



Joke of the day:

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession:
"Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and
told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said
that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates."
"BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was
Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."

Nilanti Narain, busty indian model






Joke of the day:

Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file.

The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then
reappears shortly thereafter. A few moments later, the front tiger
feels what seems to be the other tiger's tongue, applied just below
his tail. The tiger disapproves of this action, but doesn't want to
start anything by bringing it up. Then, the tiger again feels the
tongue, again in the same place.

He decides to confront the after tiger, and asks him, "Did you just
lick me twice in the butt?"

The other tiger replied, "Yeah, sorry about that. I just ate a lawyer
and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

Great sunset at Ibiza wallpaper for guys


Sunset at Ibiza. My new wallpaper. Enjoy!


Joke of the day:

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm
constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean
over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks
him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the
bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great.
What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."

Katy Perry is good at making breakfast

God damn it seeing Katy Perry like this preparing breakfast is a view to a kill!


Joke of the day:

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and
passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a
little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the
crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I
wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and
down.

"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it
up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
"Yes."
"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his
mouth.
"They were smoking marijuana?"
"Yes."
"What else?"

The monkey motioned "Screwing."
"They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
"Yes."
"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking
and screwing before they wrecked."
"Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.

Sofia Vergara sexy as usual




Joke of the day:

A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During

his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he

gladly picks him up he says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch

hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception.

In fact i hate hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on

Along the way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty son
of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the hit
and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests yells,"Don't worry
i got him with the gas can!"

My favorite Katy Perry photo





Joke of the day:
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911
operator told Bubba that she would send someone out
right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you
pick her up there?"

Lindsay Lohan really used to look good some time ago


It is surprising how Lidnsay Lohan has managed to destroy her good looks, and carreer. Food for thought, girls and boys.


Joke of the day:


Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very
polite. While taking
dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving
the room she said,
"Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open."
He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his
zipper was open. So,
he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back
into his office. "By the
way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this
morning, did
you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?"
"Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran
sitting on two duffel
bags."

Pure sexiness - this girl is dangerous


This girl is so hot that my screen is on fire!

Joke of the day:

A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind
of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the
eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the
second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the
youngest daughter.

Denise Milani looks stunning as usual




Joke of the day:

Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball, but she was having a severe
case of PMS. She was crabby and pissy and moody and generally not in the
partying spirit. Well, her fairy-godmother again came to her rescue by
providing Cinderella with a magic tampon. The fairy-godmother said, "Put
this in and your PMS will be gone. Just remember, you have to be home by
the stroke of midnight or the magic tampon will turn into a pumpkin and
that is gonna be painful as hell to get out."
So, off Cinderella went to the ball in a great mood ready to dance the
night away. Midnight comes and goes, however, and no Cinderella. Her
fairy-godmother is worried to death. 1..2...3am and no sign of Cinderella.
Finally she comes home at 4am. The fairy-godmother was distraught. "What
on earth happened to you?" she said. "What about the magic tampon. I've
been worried sick about you."
"Oh don't worry," Cinderella replied. "I met this really great guy named
Peter-Peter."

Saved by the boobs - Sheyla Hershey had a car accident


Sheyla Hershey, brazilian bimbo blonde who claims to have the biggest fake boobs in the world, has had a car accident and was saved by the artificial implants - another reason that boobs should be big!

Joke of the day:

There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely
beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically
trying to climb up.
While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says,
"God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless
you both," and then kept on walking.
One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the
other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the
bible."
The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck
all about shark fishing."

Kate Upton is pure sexiness




Joke of the day:

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower
decoration of the altar.
The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.
The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at
another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather
small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!!
Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the
contract.
On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful
roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last
reservations are discarded.
When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent
flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:
"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

Kelly Brook rear view... lookin good!



Joke of the day:


A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom
factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice.
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard
working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But
why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her
underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had
this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and
showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have
it too...."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not
only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as
well."

Jodie Marsh looked better, before she started to work out


Joke of the day:

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.

"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."

"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown
and sit a while till the sarge gets back."

"But, officer, I think you really should know..."

"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Girl with not a dragon tattoo, but still nice

Girl with not a dragon tattoo, but still nice

Joke of the day:

A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the
Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our
engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down
momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to
accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am
unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be
rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not
for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on
the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did
we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?" No Morris!" she responded.
Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?"
"Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!" Now Morris laughs.
"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple
Building Fund check this month?" "Oy Morris I forgot that one too!"
Now Morris is practically choking with laughter. Esther asks Morris,
"So what are you smiling and laughing about?

Morris responds, "They'll find us."

Cute curly black girl



Joke of the day:


A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can
I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor
said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he
then charged them $32.00.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment,
have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.

Finally the doctor asked, "Just what exactly are you trying to find out?"

The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married
and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here
for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's
office."

Phwoar! Sofia Vergara looks gorgeous!


Joke of the day:

A guy is driving around the back of the old country and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the dog replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'
The dog looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no
time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms
with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger
so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do
some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch
of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for
the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.'

Nicole Minetti again, in red bikini


Joke of the day:

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and
knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and
he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

"Don't know," the woman said.

He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices.
He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an
equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-
turn and drove up to them.

"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know
how to get to Des Moines either."

Kelly Brook in New Look campaign



Joke of the day:
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a
fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary
money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a
turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the
public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.

He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and
after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth
owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he
had scored three bullseyes. The star prize for the evening was
a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the
drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead
a consolation prize, a small, live turtle. The drunk wandered
off into the crowd.

An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than
before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the
drunk insisted, and once more scored three bullseyes and was
given another turtle.

Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third
attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in
the general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three
times. Once more he had scored three bullseyes. But this time
there was an onlooker with good eyesight."That's fantastic", the
man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"

The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to
the target and inspecting it closely.

"Yes, sir!", he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic!
Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this
magnificent 68-piece set of glassware!"

"I don't want any bloody glasses", the drunk replied. "Give me
another one of those little crusty meat pies!"

White bikini natural blonde girl


Joke of the day:


Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following
conversation took place:
First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every
room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build
her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has
not said a word. So they ask him, " You haven't said anything about what
you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30a.m., When it goes off, I shut
off my alarm, give the wife a budge and say, 'Golf Course or Intercourse?'
So she says, "Wear your sweater."

Pretty blonde girl at a party


Joke of the day:

A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a
big car, the love of a beautiful woman ...then ... pow! ... it was all
gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"Ahhhh ... my wife found out ..."

They have really great tv shows in Italy





Joke of the day:

Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria.
One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest;
he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends
sitting along the sides.
When the cafeteria was pretty full of people,
he made a loud noise (to attract attention),
stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest.
This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table;
the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid.
I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.

Alice Goodwin is sexy as hell




Joke of the day:


A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were
getting ready to go out on dates. The first
beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm
here to pick up Betty. We're going for
spaghetti, is she ready?"
No. The second beau came to the door and said,
"I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to
the show. Is she ready to go?"
No. The third beau came to the door and said to
the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
The farmer shot Chuck.
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