Katy Perry is good at making breakfast

God damn it seeing Katy Perry like this preparing breakfast is a view to a kill!


Joke of the day:

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and
passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a
little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the
crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I
wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and
down.

"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it
up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
"Yes."
"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his
mouth.
"They were smoking marijuana?"
"Yes."
"What else?"

The monkey motioned "Screwing."
"They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
"Yes."
"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking
and screwing before they wrecked."
"Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.

Sofia Vergara sexy as usual




Joke of the day:

A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During

his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he

gladly picks him up he says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch

hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception.

In fact i hate hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on

Along the way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty son
of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the hit
and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests yells,"Don't worry
i got him with the gas can!"

My favorite Katy Perry photo





Joke of the day:
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911
operator told Bubba that she would send someone out
right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you
pick her up there?"

Lindsay Lohan really used to look good some time ago


It is surprising how Lidnsay Lohan has managed to destroy her good looks, and carreer. Food for thought, girls and boys.


Joke of the day:


Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very
polite. While taking
dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving
the room she said,
"Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open."
He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his
zipper was open. So,
he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back
into his office. "By the
way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this
morning, did
you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?"
"Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran
sitting on two duffel
bags."

Pure sexiness - this girl is dangerous


This girl is so hot that my screen is on fire!

Joke of the day:

A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind
of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the
eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the
second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the
youngest daughter.

Denise Milani looks stunning as usual




Joke of the day:

Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball, but she was having a severe
case of PMS. She was crabby and pissy and moody and generally not in the
partying spirit. Well, her fairy-godmother again came to her rescue by
providing Cinderella with a magic tampon. The fairy-godmother said, "Put
this in and your PMS will be gone. Just remember, you have to be home by
the stroke of midnight or the magic tampon will turn into a pumpkin and
that is gonna be painful as hell to get out."
So, off Cinderella went to the ball in a great mood ready to dance the
night away. Midnight comes and goes, however, and no Cinderella. Her
fairy-godmother is worried to death. 1..2...3am and no sign of Cinderella.
Finally she comes home at 4am. The fairy-godmother was distraught. "What
on earth happened to you?" she said. "What about the magic tampon. I've
been worried sick about you."
"Oh don't worry," Cinderella replied. "I met this really great guy named
Peter-Peter."

Saved by the boobs - Sheyla Hershey had a car accident


Sheyla Hershey, brazilian bimbo blonde who claims to have the biggest fake boobs in the world, has had a car accident and was saved by the artificial implants - another reason that boobs should be big!

Joke of the day:

There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely
beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically
trying to climb up.
While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says,
"God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless
you both," and then kept on walking.
One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the
other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the
bible."
The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck
all about shark fishing."

Kate Upton is pure sexiness




Joke of the day:

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower
decoration of the altar.
The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.
The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at
another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather
small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!!
Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the
contract.
On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful
roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last
reservations are discarded.
When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent
flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:
"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

Kelly Brook rear view... lookin good!



Joke of the day:


A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom
factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice.
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard
working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But
why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her
underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had
this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and
showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have
it too...."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not
only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as
well."
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